The Journey Realisation
by Kazziemuse
Summary: **SEASON 7 FINALE SPOILERS*** My own take of what happens next...
1. Chapter 1

*WARNING, CONTAINS SEASON 7 FINALE SPOILERS*

It had been a few weeks since Sheldon had freaked out and made the decision to leave with no intention of destination, no clothes or really any idea of what he was doing. Sheldon feared changed. As a man of routine and order, Change was something he didn't take easy. And that day when everything started to hit him his only answer was to run away.

Sheldon never intends to hurt anyone, nor does he understand the implications he may cause to others. The day he decided to leave was the day life hit him with a drastic change of events he was not emotionally prepared for. The news he could not change his field of study, coming changes of living arrangements, the Comic book store being closed due to fire damage. Sheldon could only see running away as an option. In his mind escaping the problem will make it go away, or will it?

**Chapter 1. **

**The weeks that followed**

Amy was stood in the kitchen of her her apartment. It was 3 weeks since Sheldon freaked out an left. Even though she had regular contact with Sheldon for the first week and a half, but since his calls and messages had reduced. In fact there was only the occasional text message now. As brief as they were, Amy was happy to read he was safe and well. Amy was almost scared to text him, She didn't want to seem desperate nor lead onto the fact that she wasn't coping well without him.

Amy stood in her kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine. Everything was reminding her of Sheldon. The Strawberry quik she keeps on her countertop, the Yoohoo in her fridge. In fact, She had all of Sheldon's most desired beverages and food stocked up in case he suddenly made an appearance.

A sound of knocking came from the door. Amy waited for the signature knock from sheldon which never came, which means its not him. As she walked towards the door she still hoped that it would be Sheldon.

"Oh, Hey Penny" Amy said as she opened the door, He voice filled with disappointment.

"Hey Ames, How you holding up? You've gone very quiet the last few days, We are getting a little worried about you" Penny said in a concerning way as she walked into Amy's apartment. Penny was also scanning discreetly around the apartment for any clues regarding Amy's state of mind.

"Ive just been very busy at work thats all, Trying to keep myself distracted.. Have you heard from Sheldon?

Penny still scanning Amy's apartment turned to look at Amy, There was slight hope in Amy's face. She knew Amy wasn't taking things well recently and that she was lying to her.

"Im sorry Amy no, No one has heard from him in days. Leonard can't track his phone anymore either, Trust me he's tried!, Ive never seen Leonard so concerned. And I know you haven't been going to work either Amy, The guys have said your office door has been closed and one of your colleagues said you haven't been in.."

Penny continued to stare at Amy who was looking down, evidently hiding the expression of humiliation from her face.

'It looks like the only thing you have been working on Amy are all those empty bottles of wine over there.. Listen Amy, Pack up a bag and come and stay with me for a while so I can keep an eye on you. This isn't you and well, Me and the gang are just as concerned for you as we are Sheldon now"

Penny watched Amy as she slowly lifted her head to meet Penny's eyes.. Her eyes were red, fed face exhausted and her overall appearance looked incredibly drained. " I will be ok, I don't want to be a bother to anyone" Amy said fighting back the tears.

Penny was so taken back with how drained Amy looked, She hadn't notched when she first arrived as she was busy scanning her apartment for evidence of her state. Penny walked over to Amy holding out her arms and embraced Amy with all her might. Amy hugged back but weakly now sobbing.

"its non optional Amy, You are coming to stay with us and thats final"

"Where will I sleep?"

"You can take my room and I can sleep with Leonard"

Amy was to exhausted to disagree, The last place she wanted to go was to Sheldon's apartment, But she knew the company would do her the world of good.

The drive to Pasadena was quiet, Amy just stared out the window lost in thought. Where was he? Was he ok? Does he even care about me?. Penny broke the silence by announcing Stuart was coming over this evening as well. Amy just nodded in acknowledgement.

Penny attempted to converse with Amy a few times but to no luck. The girls hauled Amy's bags up the stairs to 4B.

"Penny, I'm just going to unpack a few things and settle down. I will be over soon, Have a bottle of white ready for me".

"Ok Ames" Penny said while making her way across to 4A. She walked into to find the gang talking to Stuart. Stuart was looking well and unnormally chirpy. His job tending to Mrs Wolowitz had a strange but working impact on him.

Leonard was the first to address Penny as she walked in. "Hey, Hows Amy doing?"

"Not good" she said with a concerned look. "She's not going to work, She's drinking heavily and she looks ill. This Sheldon thing has really shaken her up. We need to get in contact with him and tell him to come back for her sake rather then continue his own journey of discovery or what ever the hell he is doing"

The group agreed that they needed to do something to get hold of Sheldon. Now for Amy's sake.

Stuart looked over to Leonard "Did Sheldon leave the day My comic book store caught fire?" he asked in a confusing way.

"Yeh why?"

"Oh he came in that day and was freaking out at me, almost like he was pouring his heart out to me but in a very Sheldon like way"

"What did he say" Leonard said looking surprised.

Stuart looked up squinting trying to remember what Sheldon had said that day. "Er something about work, Something about Amy loving him so much and losing his happy place i.e. my store"

"Wait what?!" Penny snapped at him. The rest of the group also now staring at Stuart with anticipation.

"what did he say about Amy loving him" Leonard said to Stuart not takin his eyes off penny.

"Gee, talk about being put on the spot, He said his girlfriend loves him so much that she wants them to move in together"

The group looked around at each other in shock. The fact that Sheldon had used the words Amy and Love in the same sentence and using it in the right term didn't seem possible.

"Oh My God" Penny said shocked. "Leonard do you think he Loves her? This could be another reason why he is freaking out, Sheldon can't be dealing with this very well, He must be an emotional train wreck right now. We need to find him"

Leonard stared her a look of concern

"Thats what the Physic meant" penny continued "Commit to her and everything will fall into place" Leonard this is why he is freaking out. Its not only all this change. Its the realisation he loves Amy and he has to commit to her"

"Actually" Raj interrupted, "Sheldon actually gave me some excellent relationship advise about a week before he left. "He said I had to stop seeing everyone as my perfect companion. Otherwise Ill never find her. And that I only see everyone as a perfect companion because of fear of being alone. And he was right about it as well . Do you think he see's Amy as his perfect companion?"

The group looked around at each other. Each one of them had a look of slight shock but glee on their faces.

"We have to find him before him before he ruins his chance with Amy" Said Penny. "Any ideas anyone?, Leonard, Have you tried to call his mother?"

"I did try earlier, But I could get hold of her. Let me try again.

Leonard left for his bedroom to try and get in contact with Mrs Cooper. Penny decided to go and check on Amy as there was still no sing of her. She creeped slowly into her own apartment. Amy was lying on her bed fully clothed clutching a half finished wine bottle sleeping soundly. Penny approached her with caution, removed the wine bottle from her hand and placed a blanket over her.

"Don't worry Amy, We will get your prince to come back to you soon" Penny said softly. She left her bedroom closing the door slowly and made her way tot he kitchen to collect every drop of alcohol she could find.

Leonard entered the apartment slowly. He had a look of relief on his face.

"He's been in Texas for a few days with his Mum. Mrs Cooper said he was acting very strangely there as well but he is ok. He left a coupe of hours ago. I asked her to pass a message onto Sheldon telling him to come home for Amy's sake. She said she you try and pray for them. Where Amy?

"She's passed out on my bed after finishing a half a bottle. Listen I am going to stay here on the sofa tonight to keep an eye on her. Can you take all this Alcohol and hide it at yours?

"yes of course, Or you could just throw is away" He said jokingly.

"Lets not get carried away now Leonard"

Leonard kissed Penny not he cheek good night and left her apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2.**

Amy woke up in Penny's bed confused and dehydrated. It took her a while to figure out where she was and why she was there. Her first instinct was to check her phone for any news from Sheldon. She picked up her phone and switched on. Her heart melted as so stared at his photo on her lock screen and furthermore as there was no message or missed calls from him. She rolled onto her back and closed her eyes. Her mind could think of nothing but Sheldon. She was angry, but she missed him so much. She knew she loved him, But after this pain what can she do if he comes back?

—

Leonard and Penny were in the kitchen of 4A drinking coffee, They both had a subdued look about them. Leonard was the first to break the silence. "Damn it, I miss him.. And I hate seeing Amy like this. And I'm worried about Sheldon, now more then ever."

"Did Mrs Cooper say where we was going"? Penny asked while pouring a cup of coffee to take through to Amy.

"No, She didn't, I'm not sure she is even sure. Here let me take that into Amy for you"

Leonard grabbed the coffee and slowly walked over to the door being carful not to spill the contents. He entered Penny's apartment to find Amy sitting on the sofa looking lost.

"Hey Amy, I bought you some coffee' He placed the coffee in front of her and hesitated slightly. With a deep breath he sat down next to Amy, extended his arm around her back and pulled her into a hug. Amy didn't resist, She allowed him to hug her and just closed her eyes and accepted the gesture of friendship.

"It will be ok Amy, He can't hide from it forever.. He will be back, I promise."

—

Sheldon stood in the hallway, Outside his girlfriends apartment door. He didn't know what to do. He had feared this moment since he ran away. What would he say, what he would do? The time he has been away he hasn't accomplished anything. He was no closer to solving his field of study issue, He had come to terms that he can't change living arrangements and he could always visit capital comics until Stuart was back open. He knew the thing bothering him the most was Amy. He felt so different about her. The past few weeks he spent travelling state to state by train. And Amy was on his mind 100% of the time. Even when he stopped in Texas to visit his Mother, Still Amy occupied his mind.

Sheldon went to knock but hesitated. He didn't know what to do.

"Curse this woman and what she has done to me. I need to speak to penny first" And with that Sheldon made a retreat.

—

Amy was still sitting on Penny's sofa. She had finished her coffee. She still held the cup, just staring into it and thinking. She had no idea what to do, Wait for him? Move on? to be angry or sad.

Penny and Leonard had gone for groceries, They offered to take Amy but she declined. She sat alone listening to footsteps outside 4A. "I should probably go give them a hand" she thought to herself. She lifted herself up from the sofa and made her way over to the door. Without checking the peephole she opened the door to find Sheldon sitting on the stairwell, hand buried in his face. Amy was speechless and stopped in her tracks working harder to support herself a little.

"I know what you are going to say Penny" Sheldon said head still in his hands. "But I need your help, This whole thing, Its about my feelings for Amy isn't it"

Still not looking up, Sheldon's voice was croaking and higher pitched then normal Almost like he was crying slightly.

"Sheldon, Its… Its me" Amy said in a very soft voice.

Sheldon looked up from his hands, His eyes wet from the tears fighting to leave his eyes. His face shocked, his heart pounding and lost for words. He stood up slowly never breaking eye contact with Amy's eyes. He took every step towards her slowly. Tears filled both their eyes as Sheldon stepped closer towards her. He lifted hand to her face to wipe a tear away which was gliding down her cheek. Sheldon wanted to make things right straight away, He knew he couldn't. But he knew what to give her to keep her from running.

The hand resting on her cheek slowly moved down to her waste. His free hand took her the other side of her waist gently. He closed his eyes, leant his head down and kissed Amy gently. As much as Amy enjoyed feeling his warmth again, She broke the kiss sharply and stepped back from his gentle grip.

"Sheldon, Do you have any idea how worried I have been, how Heart broken I feel and what you have done to me?, I understand running away was something that would eventually help you. But you stopped contact! I have been worried sick

Sheldon studied her for the first time. She looked exhausted and thinner. Something was different about her. "Amy I'm sorry, Look at you. Why haven't you been taking care of yourself?"

"Because Sheldon, When someone you care about just runs away without even a goodbye. That hurts, And it hasn't stopped hurting. I have been worried sick about you, I feel like my heart has been ripped to shreds and you haven't been in contact for almost a week, Anything could have happened to you and what could I do? Nothing"

Amy's eyes wear filling with tears again.. She wanted to run away from him but she knew she couldn't. She was scared of losing him again. Sheldon looked at her in shock and took a step towards her. He gulped and looked down at his feet. "Sorry" he whispered so softly.

"I am truly sorry Amy, but if you understood how I felt, then maybe you would understand".

Amy gestured Sheldon to enter Penny's apartment. "Well, Make me understand, sit down and explain everything". Sheldon gulped and looked like he was about to collapse. This moment he knew he couldn't put off forever. He entered Penny's apartment and sat down on her sofa waiting for Amy to join him. Amy closed the door gently and joined Sheldon on the sofa making sure to keep at least an arms length from him.

"Are you going to offer me a beverage?" Sheldon asked. His answer from Amy needed no words. It was clear he wasn't getting one.

"Very well. Well Amy, I am a person that doesn't take to change very well. I like order, consistency and change is something that has to happen slowly for it to work with me, Even then its a struggle. Up until a few weeks ago everything was fine, And then everything starts changing all at the same time. My field of study, Living arrangements, Professor Proton passing away, The Comic book store And my relationship with you, Especially after what the physic said."

Sheldon gulped and hesitated before finding his words again.

"She said I should commit to you and everything will fall into place. Honestly at the time I thought it was all malarkey, but everything from then on started to change and then you once again suggested you and I should live together. Everything just seemed to come together around what she said, And I didn't feel I was that guy to commit to another human being. There was just so much going on in my head Amy that I just needed to get away and let a course run itself.

While I was away I was thinking of every possible solution to come back to, But I couldn't find one. I know that I can't control Leonard now he is engaged to Penny, They are going to move in together without me and there is nothing I can do to change that as much as I try. I cant bring Arthur back from the dead, The comic book store will re-open one day and my field of study problem can't get resolved if I'm away. Even with all this on my mind Amy, I still thought about you, A lot and committing to you. If this journey has taught me anything, Its that I want to commit to you. But, I just don't know how"

And thats why I fell silent. I didn't know what to say or do, And I knew you would be angry with me for running away"

Amy looked at Sheldon who was clearly struggling with this much honesty. He was looking very tired himself. She knew she had to ask the question, for the better of them both.

"Sheldon, Look at me" Amy said. Sheldon's head lifted and their eyes met "Maybe telling me how you truly feel about me will be enough for you to know what to do"

Amy lifted her hand towards his face, She hesitated slightly before gently gliding her fingers slowly over his cheek. To her surprise he didn't flinch or snap at her. He slowly closed his eyes and leaned against her touch slightly. He opened his eyes and stared into Amy's eyes. Gulping again he looked for what words to say.

"Well Amy, The truth is. I guess if I were to explain all my symptoms of my feelings towards you, Some might call it Love. But before you get excited Amy, I am scared, I just don't know what to do".

For the first time in weeks, A small smile appeared on Amy's face, She knew that was hard for him to say. Admission of Love is hard for anyone. But for Sheldon Cooper, Admission of love is something that nobody ever thought would come. She Pulled him into a gentle hug, stroking the back of his head she whispered into his ear,

"Its ok Sheldon, Im scared as well. But, I Love you too."


End file.
